Today I accepted that I am a victim of abuse, and that sums everything up. I didn't want to accept it, 'cause I didn't want to bemoan my lot. But now, suddenly, I feel very at ease.
I'm a pretty childlike and naive woman. At 31 years old, I've yet to figure out how to firmly but kindly fend off (or better yet, prevent) sexual come-ons from men. I dress very modestly and am a confirmed and pledged celibate. And yet, every few days some man will find me on the street, or at my job, or at the gas station and proceed to foist his opinions onto me. I don't find such come-ons flattering. I loathe them and fear them. I want nothing to do with the world of sexual politics, of flirtation and debauchery. How can I say to that world, "Leave me out of it!", shy of cutting my face off?
I just wish there were some kind of lapel pin that universally exempts one from jaunty interpelations of sexuality... Some kind of off button for men who think they're paying a complement, but are really making me lose sleep.
One thing I know is that I'm too meek about fending this stuff off. Yet, I don't want to start any issues, just kindly shut down such attentions.
Thank you all for accepting me!!! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who hasn't grown up completely. At least, not out of my innocence. I always feel like there's something wrong with me because I still like to watch Disney channel and my favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast and I'm always daydreaming. I don't like talking to a lot of other people my age because I'm really mature, so I can have good conversations with REAL adults, like older people, but people my age (19) are gross and only focused on sex and crap. :( I've never even had a boyfriend or been on a date!!!! Well, hopefully I will find some people here who I can talk to because I'm lonely and bored in my little fantasy world!!!! XD
I am new here and I want to introduce myself formal. I already did that introduction thing in the Community User Page, but I would like an introduction post anyway. My name is Brandon and I am 24 year old guy but I feel like I am much more younger than that, more like 13-14. I do like to play video games and computer games, but I like to play more of the kiddy-like stuff. I love cartoons and I watch them daily. I love shows like Fairy Oddparents and Pokemon. As for music, I love to listen to video game music and I am impartial on anything else. Being a young adult confuses me because there are many thing that I don't know much more, like politics and sex in our culture and other adult things. Feels like my life is in standstill as I sit here being confused while I am playing my games. I feel really embarrassed to express my child-like tendencies but when I am alone, I go all out. I have a fondness for anything cute and I would love to play stuff that have cuteness in them.
As for the dark past, luck for me, I am not a victim of child abuse but I been a victim of bullying. I been bullied most of my grade school and I even been bullied when I was a college at some point. It was very harsh for me and even then those times are behind me, it does made me wonder if it had a major effect in my life, especially of these child-like tendencies that I can keep returning to. Then again, I do feel alone like a little child balling up in a corner. Anyway, I don't know if it is really a fear of growing up or if I don't want to change my ways into being an adult. I like being child-like. It does feel like a curse because I don't understand many thing yet, but I love my child-like imagination. I express and share my imagination through my writing and my daydreaming. It feels like my imagination haven't really changed since I was 13 so it is always have a child-like atmosphere.
Once again, thanks for accepting into your community and I'll try my best to become a part of it.
Does anyone know of a site, in general, that sells fun/kid-like things for adults? I find it hard to find, for instance, bedding for a queen size bed that isn't one plain solid color. It would be nice to find one you may get for a little kids room... but bigger. Same with clothes, shower curtains, etc. etc. I hope i made amy point clear... I just want grown-up things, that look kid-like.
I made a playlist of all the episodes of The Big Comfy Couch in order! As many as I could find, anyway. There are some missing, and the internet gives me conflicting information about how many seasons there were and what order the episodes were in. So if you can help me improve it, I would greatly appreciate that!