May 10th, 2005


random thoughts on being an adult child

I was in the dollar store getting excited about the various makeup and the cute lil things with cartoon pictures on them and really cutsey girly stuff and I was caught by a thought,,,, I should be buying this for my invisible kid not hit me really hard,,and I started thinking of why I still like such kiddy thing..why I like watching my new dvds of the old show "Degrassi Junior High" I was parentified ,,,my parent's therapist...and it felt like I had the right to like whatever I like... I thought tho other thoughts about how hard it is to feel like a grownup and why do people have to stop having kid like things just cause they are being a parent matures you instantly if you try to be a good immature mine was and how much of a parent my mom is now... but I feel soothed...I feel treated by having cute lil things and faeries for me to see... I feel happy when I buy things like this. Why deny myself just because society seems to make people have to grow up even if they dont feel like grownups inside? Why cant cartoons not be a hush hush thing..why cant people admit they still watch Sesame Street on occassion? I may be an adult child but it isnt a crime tho at times I feel conflicted and like such a lil lil kid in a world of adults even tho they are my age. I suffered a lot as a child..why can't I indulge myself now? It is one of the good things about being an adult child. There are many bad things that stilt and halt me in this world. Why not embrace the positive things at well...
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