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Lisolette
27 April 2004 @ 07:43 am
I will again be trying EMDR in an effort to process the past trauma. I never processed all that happened to me. I remember some of it but I am disconnected from the feelings until something triggers me and then I am anxious,sad and have such feelings of anger and abandonment and feel like a kid. If this EMDR info about emdr works I will be able to remember the past in a way where it will be less intense and I will not be as likely to be triggered by life scenarios that in some way resemble the past or my feelings of the past.

The therapist is gonna try a different EMDR approach with me and maybe it will be more effective. I am scared that I will remember things I forgot. I am scared to feel this past pain as intensely as I remember it all. I have to tho if I am to free myself from it. Sometimes I feel I imagined everything and nothing so horrible happened to me. How could all of that..how? How could I have been so neglected and so abused..how? I am still here and I survived but,,,how could that all have happened...it seems like one big nightmare...

I am scared to go back there so full force... memories of my parents abuse..memories of school abuse,,,memories of neglect from my first love...

I hope this works tho,,, I hope this works... I want to be even freer than I am now
 
 
Lisolette
I want to take this time to welcome all new people *hugs* and give *hugs* to all of the older people who are still reading.

For awhile noone was posting but I looked and wowie :) My inner child is smiling.

I will have to catch up and comment

I wanted to say one thing tho for now

Please keep all posts in here relevant... things that would appeal to our innerchildren like child games or quotes about childhood are fine (thanks to the two of you who did this0
but please no links to other communities that really are not directly connected like an art community ..that art cocktail thing is not relevant

I will try to peek in on this community more plus it is time for a makeover. I will be fixing this journal soon colors...picture ect.

Please keep posting and commenting. I am so glad you reach out to one another. Everyone is welcome here,,, as long as they are kind to one another....

*hugs*