December 5th, 2003

i feel confused

my oldest (by 15 years) sister sat down with my and my 4 kids and gave us this talk about how the kids (they're teens) don't respect anyone, don't help around the house (we live with my folks), etc...
it was called "the talk".
as she was speaking, i could feel myself drifting away. i started thinking like i was a child and wanted to defend everything she said to us. i seriously wanted to leave. but i just sat there and listened and on the odd occasion, made a comment or two. it still didn't come out right.
that's when i wanted to hide.
i felt horrible.
useless to everything and everyone.
like i did when i was little.
what a horrible feeling.
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