November 15th, 2001

Mystical from ljuser over

I'm a 36 y.o baby........

I am beyond being a late bloomer. Haven't posted here in a while. Too much cahos, so most of my stuff is in my main lj or in
I was sick a couple weeks ago and my Husband got me a lot of goodies. One of them is a very soft, plush big stuffed dog (black lab). It took a while for my dogs to realize it is not for them, or at least to be gentle with it. I hold it close each night. My teddy bear has been feeling neglected, so my Hubby holds him. In that way I am very lucky. My husband does not make fun of the comfort someone my age gets from holding something through out the night. I had an ex who thought it was stupid, and he would throw my teddy bear out of the bed. He didn't understand why it upset me so.

Add to that odd behavour for someone my age, read my profile, and you would think I'm one of the younins' on this thing. But music is timeless. And my taste in music, and art are very broad. My parents are befuddled, as they think I have long since (say 15 years ago) outgrown these things. But I can't. I won't. It is hard enough being me, something I can't do anything about. I am working on dealing with the angst, but geez, let me be. Anyone with bi-polar, or any depressive disorder should have the right to hold on to dear life to ANYTHING, that brings them comfort besides Doc. visits and pills.
Am I being silly, or do others sleep with stuffed animals, and say &)(&%&^%^&*%(&_)(+( to those who mock us for choosing gothic or trance as opposed to country, or pop.......
  • Current Mood
    frustrated frustrated