July 23rd, 2001

A poem for my inner child, a poem for the last incident, a poem for my growing confidence...

A summers breeze blows through the trees reflections of the sun inside her sunflower eyes, the rusty swing sways with the wind.
Yesterday was not so far away~as so it seems, she can remember seeing this in her dreams the day she met her child hood.
her little hand grasp the chains of which upon the swing, her hair flys back in the wind, she laughs quietly her eyes are full of life...
suddenly the happiness stops, her life is put on hold, stolen off the swing, struggles to find a way out, but nevertheless, shes to small and weak to fight him, he forces himself upon her, and intends at his will.
Raped her right, raped her mind, stolen her childhood,Impregnate her with this disease, Raped is her life
The rusty swing, Violently sways.....its empty, once forever more, its empty....her life........its empty.....


Staring at you from behind glass eyes My soul holds it's breath as the tension doth rise Coldly beautiful, beastial power concealed Magnetically pulling me into the unreal A bittersweet surrender too much to give But, I'll lower my walls for you as I loose all will to live Dying in your arms next to an untouchable face The violence of this willing rape the emblem of raw grace Sensual and sexual, torturous and right Take me now, my lover, through the portal to midnight Within the deepest darknesses, let us meld as one Condemning them and saving us as here the demons run Abrupt and yet so, detailed, past pleasure into pain Yet, thoroughly delightful for, to me, it's all the same Reaching to the climax, thrusting tounges perilously deep Then softly kissing my cursed lips before drifting off to sleep
I am a chameleon in disguise. Lightning strikes down the truth and I stay cool and calm, take charge, lie low - I project what needs to be shown, yet always I am just me.

I am a heart breaker
I'll take you or leave you
Always fasionably late, Always changing my mind
I... am ghetto fabulous.

I am powerful and strong, love to be int he spotlight - perform my debut over and over again.
I climb up and make myself comfortable on the pedistal... sleek black pillar of stone, holds granite thoughts of everything. I slink across it's cold, marble surface and perch at the edge over looking the world -

I grin like the cheshire cat
I give a piercing stare, throwing daggers, sometimes inviting
I... am ghetto fabulous.

I walk to the beat of a different drummer, the beaten path only goes so far.
I get high on the fact that I can blur the boerder between sensibility and spirituality.
I am a fiend, a slut, a whore just because I crave reality on a finer scale - An overdose of insanity can derail those perceptions taken for granted.

I am never uncomfortable or settled.
I love art, poetry and life... I appreciate creativity on all levels. I feel the madness just killing me - but it is waht keeps me alive. My work has nothing to do with talent, for talent is nothing in this encounter. What does talent matter to those whose sole exsistance relies on the expression of all emotion? I heard a wall, I see a wall, I am a wall. I shine from behind my hands. I have a tough shell, soft flesh and a hard core, thus it may be difficult to notice.

I am destroyed and reborn each day like a phoenix.
I've got attitude.
I... am ghetto fabulous

I wear dresses and makeup
my nails are brittle and worn; the balance between a feminist and practicality... I'm not a priss. I like dirt, I like bugs... makes ya stronger.

I am an exotic mutt - my ethnicity runs on for days. My raven hair, my sunflower eyes, my lips, my name... My body is that of a Romanesque Renaissance model... all just a petty result.
I intruigue, give mystery, give suspense and sensuality.
I... am ghetto fabulous

I move toward the flams to feed off of them.
I hammer some of my philosophies into people's heads taht are too scared to go out, make a few mistakes, experience life for what it's worth.
I get tired of people that put such an overwhelming virtuous light on conformity, conservatives and censorship -
I'm a dork
I am a rebel
I am classy
A punk
An indo-hippy
A professional
A survivor
I wear it well
People find me charming, yes charming
I search to effect, to be a muse. Somehow consistantly unaware that I achieve my goal.
I move through my life suprised of the running commentary but I...
I... am ghetto fabulous.

It's bad to be a tease, hard to dissappoint. I track the expectations. I make you work for my affection. No instant gradification, I am not so insecure to need that. I dance through the projections
I always jump in the pictures
I love hugs and bubbles and children

Catty, sensitive, scattered, complete
I wear my heart on my sleeve
I am blunt and honest
Could never spare happiness to lie

I am deep
So deep - Could spend several thousand life times exploring just this one...

Paths to places never seen, never traveled. Paths to freedom, to dreams... inconcievable destinations; unborn, unthought of... where velvet sunsets fade - they melt into crystal skies, rocky moonbeams beckon, I set my sunflower eyes upon newer sights, in all of that.
The great beyond; my great beyond.

The fire will always burn bright, I will always feed off the flames.

I am a chameleon in disguise...

I... am ghetto fabulous.
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