July 6th, 2001


its hard

I saw a child today and talked to his mother first. I did not like how she was talking about him or how she was handeling his particular situation. I then found out he was able to hear. I never thought she would talk that way knowing he was there. I appologized to him and later told him i did not agree with how his mother spoke about him. I said his mother loves him but when she is angry she says things she does not mean. I tried my best to shield that already fractured self esteem of his. His mother tries, I can see that but she does not realize the imapact her words have on him. I tried my best to tell her. Its a hard line not to cross. I wanna say wanna screw him up more? Then keep saying those things. I knwo for my all of the negative criticism i got has stayed with me and my self esteem is slow to build because of it all.

Words hurt just as much as physical and emotional. Words stain our minds and sting and stay with us.

Its hard being a therapist sometimes. I made a deal with him..if he stops this particular beahvior I will take him to McDonalds. i dont so this reward thing very often especially that much money but I think he needs a real positive approach to his beahvior.

I didnt knwo what else to do. He shut down and I tried my best to talk to him,,he nodded at times or shook his head. I kept saying you are not bad you are not bad.....I wanted to save him years and years of pain. I dont think I can. Hopefully his Mom will learn something from me from watching me with him. I hope.

I wish soemone had told my mom hey you shouldnt talk to her meaning me when I was little...but I guess it all happened so I can help kids not be as hurt by their parents.
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