June 10th, 2001


picking men like daddy

My best friend and I were talking recently and we realized that in trying to feel a gap left in childhod by our fathers, we have been trying to find men like our dads in an unconscious effort to recreate what we didnt have then in hopes that perhaps this time we could get the unconditional love from these men we couldnt from our dads in an effort to vicariously have it from our dads. We have both in the past picked men who hurt us, ignore us, are selfish and who put us last. We have found men who we feel uneasy telling our feelings too and we have swallowed so many feelings. The good thing tho is this...

We realize this now and wont make that mistake for long. We now recognize the pattern and can break it. If someone seems to be treating us badly we will know they are. If we cant say our feelings and are encouraged to shut them up inside us well then they arent someone we want to be with. It takes time but at least we are finally figuring it out. We may be single right now but at least we arent being hurt anymore. Which is more important? Not being hurt.