April 12th, 2001


possibly I have this........ I don't know anything about it though. I'm a toy history researcher and plan to become an elementary school teacher. I love playing with children.

I run a group called Universal Unity which is composed of friendly members from many different backgrounds. I think it would be of interest to you and to us if you joined!

Here's the link: http://www.livejournal.com/~UniversalUnity

Good day to you!

fear of the child

I havent written on here in awhile. I have been feeling very much the sad child lately. I struggle with my fears of people. I fear people that are strangers. I fear men more. When one comes in my path I recoil. It is a real fear reaction. What makes my mind feel these "adults" are better than me? I feel like I am looking through the eyes of a child..the same one that watched and expereinced so much pain. But I knwo that was then and people for the most part treat me so much better. I knwo this but still still I spend my life trying not to get in the way of others.

No matter how hard I try I feel like that ugly little girl of the past...akward maybe rather than ugly. I walk in a place feeling like an attractive adult but then shortly after its like I regress and am a kid.

I am an egocentric insecure child still...adolecent stage frozen in time
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