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04 February 2001 @ 07:14 pm
Any and all compliments can be handled by simply
saying "Thank you" though it helps if you say it with
a Southern accent.

Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by
your own taste.

Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the
waiter.

The five most essential words for a healthy, vital
relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right".

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's
easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

If he/she says that you are too good for them - believe it.

I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will
this matter one year from now? How about one month?
One week? One day?

Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have
another chance!

Be really nice to your friends because you never know
when you are going to need them to empty your bed pan
and hold your hand.

Work is good but it's not important.

Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's
perfect, it just means you've decided to see beyond
the imperfections.