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30 March 2010 @ 01:30 pm
Today I accepted that I am a victim of abuse, and that sums everything up.  I didn't want to accept it, 'cause I didn't want to bemoan my lot.  But now, suddenly, I feel very at ease.  
Current Mood: calmcalm
Andy Van Berkumandrewjvb on March 30th, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I am still a little worried about people bullying me.
The Crashing Down of Hollow Years: depressedblackpaladin on March 30th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
That's not out of the ordinary. (Hells, that's not all that unusual for people, regardless of whether or not they've suffered abuse; very few people like being bullied. :) ) Yes, your fight-or-flight reflex is going to be stuck a little more emphatically on "flight" than most people's, at least for a while, and there's nothing wrong with that. What that means is that you have to remain conscious of that fact, and kind of "step out of yourself" in situations where that reaction threatens to override your rational brain, and look at yourself and say "Is the magnitude of my reaction really appropriate to the situation?" It's tough -- at 34, it's still a skill I'm working on -- but it's doable.

And for those times when you need some support in that, well, that's what we're here for. :)
Andy Van Berkumandrewjvb on March 30th, 2010 06:58 pm (UTC)
I've been criticized so much that I can't even really take into consideration whatever context the bullying is in. It just happens and then I appear however I appear.
白雪-曙霏: Punky Brewsterbrighidn on April 23rd, 2010 01:09 am (UTC)
Ditto with this situation. It takes alot of concentration and self-reassurance for me to understand that it is not natural to have people walk over me, that there are other options. We have the power to change things, but we may need to learn this more consciously than others.
Andy Van Berkumandrewjvb on April 23rd, 2010 06:17 am (UTC)
You ought to just know that you have the right to exist. Whatever you are, you just are -- thinking has nothing to do with it. If you get anxious and try to figure things out, how you should be...that's just "you on thought", know what I mean? The truth is that you could walk around without thinking at all, and you'd be perfectly safe.