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23 March 2010 @ 08:23 pm
Demure from Innuendo?  
I'm a pretty childlike and naive woman. At 31 years old, I've yet to figure out how to firmly but kindly fend off (or better yet, prevent) sexual come-ons from men. I dress very modestly and am a confirmed and pledged celibate. And yet, every few days some man will find me on the street, or at my job, or at the gas station and proceed to foist his opinions onto me. I don't find such come-ons flattering. I loathe them and fear them. I want nothing to do with the world of sexual politics, of flirtation and debauchery. How can I say to that world, "Leave me out of it!", shy of cutting my face off?

Suggestions? Strategies?

I just wish there were some kind of lapel pin that universally exempts one from jaunty interpelations of sexuality... Some kind of off button for men who think they're paying a complement, but are really making me lose sleep.

One thing I know is that I'm too meek about fending this stuff off. Yet, I don't want to start any issues, just kindly shut down such attentions.

Thank you!
 
 
Current Location: Hooterville
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
 
 
Nikki: profilefreetobeme18 on March 24th, 2010 09:54 pm (UTC)
age 24, pledged celibate as well. cheers. ^_^

I unfortunately don't have any advice really on the matter, though it seems you're already heading in the right direction. I suppose, try just outright telling them that you're not interested? If they're purely interested in sex and not in a relationship, which it sounds like they are, finding out that you're celibate should be an immediate turn-off for them. Of course, I understand if you're not comfortable revealing this to near or total strangers...

I second the lapel pin idea. :)

Really, I just wanted to point out that I can relate muchly to this entry. Best of luck. Let us know please if you figure out anything that works! ;o)
白雪-曙霏: 可愛小女生brighidn on March 25th, 2010 12:25 am (UTC)
Cheers, Nikki!

It's nice to meet someone else with this issue! Thanks for peeping up. :>

I'm comfortable explaining I'm celibate, being a nun, but rarely these days wear a full habit. Nuntheless, I wear very modest dress. Yet even a habit or modest dress doesn't seem to say "no" before I have to. I've run across several people who seem to take celibacy as a "challenge"... So I guess perhaps even a universal sexual neutrality symbol would probably be a turn on for a chunk of men. :S Though it might be a nifty notion.

You're probably right; I just need to be more direct about fending off advances, most of the time.
Andy Van Berkumandrewjvb on March 25th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
I just recently gave up on sex. People are SO sexual. Personal identity seems "old fashioned" or something. Everyone is so selfish.

I feel sorry for you. Excuse me, everything is like "Something that might end up in a sexual relationship." Escape? Do we want to escape?

I don't care anymore. But it seems like there's nobody who would be interested in just being fascinated with the world around us.
白雪-曙霏: Punky Brewsterbrighidn on March 26th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
Hello Andrew!

Please don't feel sorry for me, as I have a wonderful and fulfilling life of service, prayer, exploration, and play. Others are not so blessed.

Escape? Yes, perhaps we want to escape. I would like to escape from unwanted sexual advances, especially when I've repeatedly informed someone that I'm not interested in such dalliance. This is not a bad thing to escape from. :>

The world is indeed worth being fascinated in. To live fully with childlike eyes, tempered by wisdom of age, we can continue to make each day special, a cherished moment to be grateful for. Wanton sexuality can take us from that state of grace, and as such is often actually an "escapism" from the awe of the universe that is our birthright.

I, too, would rather just keep discovering, exploring, adventuring, learning. Growing. Alive.

P.S., Q-bert is totally radical.
Novanglusnovanglus on March 26th, 2010 04:30 am (UTC)
There's an age-old approach to this problem that women have been using for generations: wear a wedding ring!